Girl Problems
by LastationLover5000
Summary: When a wish is made on Shénlóng, Son Gokū finds himself transported from his own world to Jusenkyō, China. Falling right into Nyannīchuan — the Spring of Drowned Girl — Gokū takes the form of a girl. Cursed with from Jusenkyō's waters, Gokū meets a martial artist in a similar predicament; Saotome Ranma.


**Earth, Fukurō Forest**

"We've finally gathered them all, Pilaf-sama!" A woman's voice sounded, and an attractive young woman came out of the darkness of the Fukurō Forest, and clutched in her hand was a glowing orange sphere. With pale skin, dark black eyes and long black hair, she was the picture of beauty. Fukurō Forest was well known as a ninja stronghold **—** in fact, the ninja still technically resided within the forests' depths. But this young woman was far from ordinary; associating with 'Emperor' Pilaf had given her access to decent amounts of technology, and she used this to clear the forest of the ninja in pursuit of the orb she clutched in her hands.

"Good work, Mai!" Pilaf, a bluish imp, squealed with glee. "With that, we have all seven of them! The mystical Dragon Balls!"

The Dragon Balls were a mystical set of orbs located on this planet. Orange in colouration, and similar in size, each orb was as precious as a jewel. Floating inside were red stars, numbering from one to seven. When all seven orbs were gathered together, it is said that a wish-granting dragon, referred to as 'Shénlóng', would arise and grant the summoner one single, perfect wish.

And this was what Pilaf, and his accomplishes, the beautiful Mai, and the dog Shū, were aiming for this time. Normally, they'd wish to become rulers of the world. But instead, Pilaf had a different wish in mind. It was a wish that would make taking over the world far easier.

Mai placed the final remaining orb — ironically, the Sushinchū, the Four-Star Dragon Ball —down onto the soft ground with the remaining glowing orbs. In the dim light of the Fukurō Forest, they shone with all the light of the stars within them, but this glow would be outdone in only moments.

Pilaf stepped over the set of orbs, raising his hands high. "Dragon God! By your name, I summon you forth: Shénlóng!" At the sound of these words, there was a brilliant flash of light, followed quickly by a sound akin to thunder. The sky darkened, and the orange Dragon Balls sparked and emitted a yellow light so blinding the three had to cover their eyes. Then, it shot upwards to the sky, like a reverse lightning bolt. The energy began to coil itself in the sky, winding around as it took form. The shape solidified into the serpentine shape of Shénlóng, the Dragon God. His arrival was followed by a giant gust of wind, blowing the trees of the forest and clothing of the three with great force.

If his appearance was imposing, this was nothing compared to his voice. When the Dragon God spoke, his voice boomed across the forest; the very vibrations felt as if they would shake the leaves off the trees, and cause the fragile buildings that were hidden within the forest to crumble. "You, who have gathered all seven Dragon Balls! Reflect upon your desires, for I shall grant you any wish, but only one!"

"Here it is, Pilaf-sama!" Mai was excited, even if Shénlóng's very presence made her a nervous woman. "It's our time now!"

"Yeah! Just…we have to make sure we don't screw it up this time, ya know?" Shū muttered, dejectedly prodding the ground with his foot.

Pilaf grinned encouragingly at these people who were both subordinates but also dear friends. "Worry not!" Turning to Shénlóng, he spoke loudly and clearly. "Shénlóng! My wish is for you to kill the man known as Son Gokū! He's been a thorn in my side for years, and I want him gone!"

Shénlóng was silent for a moment, pondering the wish. Then he spoke again in his voice like thunder. "That wish is beyond my power to grant. The one called Son Gokū is training high in the Palace of God with my creator, the one called God. He has recently become stronger than his teacher, and I am unable to directly kill one who surpasses my creator in power. "

Pilaf frowned. This was the most surefire way to do it, he'd known. Letting Son Gokū live had come back to bite him before when he failed to bake the man to death when he was still a boy. But if he couldn't kill Son Gokū, perhaps he could still get rid of him.

"O Mighty Dragon God! If you cannot kill Son Gokū, then send him away! Far away! To somewhere where he can never come back to this world!"

Another moment of silence followed. Then, Shénlóng's eyes began to glow a vibrant red, and then ceased to glow.

"Your wish has been granted! Fare thee well!"

The balls floated into the air, and split off into multiple directions, scattering across all corners of the Earth. The sky, which had darkened, lightened to reveal the bright sun which scattered dappled light through

It took a moment for Pilaf, Mai, and Shū to process what happened. They had successfully summoned the Dragon God, and, without interruptions, successfully made a wish.

"We…we did it!" They cheered, jumping into the air, with their fists pumped! "Now let's get down to work!"

* * *

 **Palace of God, Earth; Before the Wish was made**

High above Earth, there was a floating structure known as the 'Palace of God'. Earth's current God, the 'guardian' of the planet, so to speak, resided, and watched over everything from on high. And training atop the Palace was the Hero of Earth, a young man named Son Gokū. Only three years ago, the young man had defeated the legendary demon known as Piccolo Daimaō.

But it was not the time to celebrate. Karin, one of his old teachers, had told him to travel to the Palace of God, where he would encounter God himself. With the help of his faithful staff, the Nyoibō — which currently rested on his back — he traveled to the Palace of God, and encountered God himself, who was the spitting image of Piccolo Daimaō.

Arriving there, God gave Gokū a cryptic warning: Piccolo Daimaō was not dead, and he had reincarnated his soul into a son, Piccolo Junior, who would arrive at the Tenkaichi Budōkai in three years' time. And so, Gokū devoted himself entirely to training with God and his attendant, Mr. Popo, steadily improving his skills for that fateful battle.

In the three years since he had come to the Palace, Gokū, once a small child, had undergone an incredible growth spurt, and was now a

Leaping along the tiles of the Palace, manoeuvring much like his monkey-tail would suggest he could, Gokū deftly avoided God's attacks. God had proposed removing the tail, and Gokū had agreed, however, this removal would come near the end of his training, where he would train to adjust to the lack of balance he would have due to the lack of a tail.

"Come on! I'm outmanoeuvring you, God!" Gokū teased playfully.

"Don't get a full head, Gokū!" God called out in his feeble, yet stern voice. "We've been over this, your cockiness will be the death of you!"

"Woohoo!" Gokū dashed towards God, his elbow outstretched for a crushing blow.

With surprisingly reflexes, God blocked it with his palms, but was surprised to see himself staggering. Had the young Son Gokū improved this much in just three years that his godly eyes and godly strength were no longer a match for the young warrior?

"The days are gone where a finger flick can take me out, God!" Gokū grinned.

"He really has improved." Mr. Popo observed. "I wonder if he's strong enough for it yet…" The attendant was thinking back to just the previous year and a half ago, when he threw Gokū into another dimension referred to as the Room of Spirit and Time. He had high hopes for the talented boy, but Gokū had barely been able to survive in there before having to withdraw. But now…

"He might just be ready."

As they continued their sparring match, darkness overtook the planet. Gokū and God stopped short, looking around. It had been broad daylight only moments ago, so for the sky to turn black so suddenly; well, it wasn't night.

"Someone is summoning Shénlóng…!" God observed.

"But who…?" Gokū frowned. His friends had already used the Dragon Balls to revive Piccolo Daimaō's victims two years ago. And only _Bulma_ could find the Dragon Balls that fast. Well, her and the Red Ribbon Army, but Gokū had killed them all years ago. There _couldn't_ be any survivors.

"I've got a bad feeling about this, Gokū…" God muttered to himself, summoning his cane, which was more for decoration than anything, and leaning on it as he walked to the edge of the Palace. "Yes…it is indeed Shénlóng…"

The group couldn't help but be confused, and Gokū's tail swished back and forth, mimicking the man's puzzled mood. " _Wonder what they're wishin' for?_ " He thought curiously. Gokū couldn't help but be curious about what random people he'd never met would use Shénlóng's powers for.

Then it happened. In the midst of their confusion, a swirling vortex opened up next to Gokū. It was a spiraling mass of black and purple and one could have mistaken it almost for a toxic-miasma. When it came to the attention of God, Mr. Popo, and Gokū, the latter was already beginning to feel a strong vacuum sensation.

"W-W-W-W-What's happening!?" Gokū felt the vortex beginning to pull him in, and the man was experiencing genuine confusion and panic for the first time in years.

"Gokū!" God cried, eyes wide at the sight. He knew what it was; as the god of a planet, he was well versed in supernatural phenomena. It was an anti-dimensional rift. When he reached this conclusion, it hit him. " _This is the wish made on Shénlóng!"_

"I can't fight it!" Gokū shouted, trying to move against the vortex's sucking pull, but found himself unable to fight it. The vortex pulled Gokū off the ground, and it swallowed him whole, before closing in front of a stunned God and Mr. Popo.

"What…What do we do now, Mr. Popo?"

"I don't know, sir…"

* * *

 **Jusenkyō, China; Earth**

There are many strange sights one can see around the globe; rivers containing a second river underwater, wild animals that are hilarious to behold, and politicians that look like tangerines with wigs. However, it could be said that a violent young girl chasing a panda across multiple pools of water, supporting her weight on bamboo sticks, was perhaps one of the most odd.

"Get back here, old man! This crap is your fault!"

Her speech was crass, and her attitude as fiery as her red hair. She wore simple white training _gi_ , and was barefoot; perhaps this improved the grip of her foot against the bamboo poles, or perhaps it simply made the collision of her foot against the panda's head just that much more satisfying.

The second was more likely.

The panda, obviously not fond of being chased, made a point to hold up a sign reading its clear refusal. A panda who could write in hiragana; the sights could not get odder.

"If you won't get back here, then I'll come to you!" The red-headed girl took a stance, her blue eyes narrowing as she glared down the bear. Poising herself, she crouched, before leaping directly at the panda.

With surprising swiftness, the bear leapt from its own bamboo perch, avoiding the girl with so much ease that it looked second nature. She pursued, attempting to hit the panda bear with swift kicks and punches; all of them were deftly avoided, much to her growing irritation.

"Just...stay…still…why don'tcha!?"

The panda pulled another wooden sign out of nowhere, as if by magic, and it merely served to mock the girl.

While the two continued their little spat, high above the planet, a swirling vortex of black and purple opened wide. Splitting the sky open, a black-haired figure clad in orange _gi_ was spat out, and began to enter free fall as he fell from the sky.

"...Well, I'm falling," Son Gokū said aloud, surprisingly accepting of the entire situation. Looking down, he could only make out the vague outline of land and realized he was falling from quite a ridiculous height. "Wait, I'm falling!" When Gokū took in the actual height of which he was falling, only then did he begin to process the actual danger he could be in. And worse, he was picking up speed.

As his decline continued, the young man saw shapes begin to take form. With his surprisingly good eyesight, he could make out the figures of two people fighting far below him, as well as a myriad of water bodies; several hundred, at least.

And he was headed right for one!

Before Gokū could even begin to slow himself down, he crashed into the water's surface. Bracing himself for the coming pain, he was surprised to see that collision with the water's surface barely registered as 'painful'. Perhaps God's training had paid off in some way after all. Sinking slowly to the bottom, only continuing his descent, Gokū began to swim upwards, breaching the surface of the water and taking in deep breaths.

"That…that was a close one! I thought I was gonna die!" He said, and then stopped short. His voice. It didn't sound like his. Far from the masculine voice he'd developed after his growth spurt, the voice that escaped his throat just there was soft and high. It reminded him of Bulma's, even! But he couldn't sound like a girl! Frowning, Gokū was only becoming more confused. Even his chest felt heavier, and performing a quick feel made him realize it was not only heavier, but squishier and more pliant. Finally looking down at the pool's surface, Gokū saw an unfamiliar face looking back at him. It was round and soft, with wide, sapphire-hued eyes and bright red hair, still in his familiar spiky style.

"Oh no!" As if by some magic, a man appeared out of thin air, rushing to the side of the springs. He wore a black commissar cap with a gold star, and a thick brown military outfit. "You fall into Nyannīchuan — the Spring of Drown Girl! Tragic story of young girl who drown in spring! Now, whoever fall into spring take the form of young girl!"

"W-W-W-W-What!?" Gokū couldn't hide his — no, her — shock at this revelation. "I-I-I'm a _girl!?_ "

* * *

 **A/N:** _So, this is a little surprise that I've wanted to write for quite some time. This is going to be my first real crossover story; Ranma ½ + Dragon Ball. I've always enjoyed the Ranma ½ series, and I've always enjoyed Dragon Ball; in their own right, they're both accomplished series about martial arts that do different things in a pretty good way. So I decided I'd do a crossover, featuring anime's favorite hero, Gokū! This, like Little Miss Devil, is gonna be a fun little side project to do whenever I feel like updating. However, unlike my other Dragon Ball stories, where I use a lot of the Japanese terms, this one I will be stressing them even more where applicable, as this is a crossover with Ranma ½. Because of that, you notice I used "God" and "Palace of God" as opposed to "Kami" and "Kami's Lookout" (the former which could just have been translated if Americans weren't so touchy about the name 'God' and the latter because "Kami's Lookout" just sounds stupid). Anyone who has read my stories before know I don't use Hyperbolic Time Chamber, I use the Room of Spirit and Time. Furthermore, I'm spelling "Goku" as "Gokū" for this story because that is the correct romanization; yes the "u" with the umlaut is the correct way to say it, "Gokū" is pronounced with a long vowel sound at the end most of you've been pronouncing it wrong for years._

 _Something of note: yes, I set this before the tournament with Junior, so Gokū could come into this story with a reasonable power level. We don't know WHEN God removed Gokū's tail, so I took some liberties and had him keep it. Well, I hope you guys like this short intro chapter, and I'll see you all again soon with the next chapter for Girl Problems. (Which, yes, is the best title I could come up with for this.)_


End file.
